Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Semi-Hangover Pt. 1

Names have been changed to protect identities *In my law & order voice* And this is a pretty long post, so brace yourself!

*Law & order gavel sound* Labor Day 2005: Me, Christi & Rhonda were just hanging at Christi's house, being silly as usual. Nia was at her dad's house for the weekend, so I finally had  a chance to cut loose. Ken, who is Rhonda's cousin, called the house and asked if we would be so kind, and join he & his friend Omar to Tijuana for the holiday weekend. Omar's father owned a house on Rosarito Beach, so we had a place to stay. All we needed was $50 and we were set.

This may seem insignificant now, but we stopped at Taco Bell ( how ironic, seeing as how we could get real tacos in mexico) in San Diego and filled our bellies, since we didn't know how long the line to cross the border would be (no pun intended..hehe). Everyone make fun of me because of all the napkins I took, but I'm a napkin hoarder..and I never know how many times I may be required to wash my hands...or my feet when wearing flip flops ( which I was).

Upon getting acorss the border, we went to Omar's father's beach house and much to our surprise, someone was staying there for the weekend. Omar negated to ask his father if the house was available, and just assumed since no one ever goes, it would be free. Not the case! So, no biggie. We could just get a hotel room when the time came!

 We decided to hit the clubs and get our groove on. I was really excited about my cousin performing at one of the hotels in the area, but unfortunately...I missed his performance as well saw the guy that opened for him roaming the streets. After talking to him, we hit a few dance spots..and one in particular that had a stripper pole. Now, this is way before the whole stripper pole crazy. I decided to hop on the pole, and attempt to be sexy in my wide legged pants & t-shirt. I guess it got us a few beers, but we weren't anywhere near as sexy as my friend Rhonda. At this point in time, I was about 50 lbs lighter than I am now...and Rhonda was a little heavy set. When I say she was THE SHIT in mexico...SHE WAS THE SHIT ( She even responded " I AM THE SHIT IN MEXICO" When these two hombres sandwiched her.)

She was getting freaked from every which way! The drinks were flowing, and we were having a great time. Of course, when travelling with yo' BEYOTCHES, one must go to the restroom with all of them. We get into the restroom, realize none of the stalls have toilet paper. Then, one of our fellow gringos was so kind to tell us the bathroom attendant was charging $1 for toilet paper! HA but I outsmarted her, because I stole a whole stack of napkins from Taco Bell. My girls and about 5 others were so appreciative that I was a natural born napkin thief.

Whilst Rhonda is getting freaked by the natives, Ken meets a young lady who isn't bilingual...but he knew he would charm her with his language skills. How many black dudes from the hood speak fluent spanish...if they aren't Beliezean? My point exactly. So, He's trying to get into her panty drawls, then I guess we messed up his swag by intruding and demanding that he take us to another club. He did, and he brought his young senorita along - who didn't speak any english so we could not communicate what-so-ever. We get to another club, whose floor was so filthy, we literally had mud all over our feet. That was no bueno, so we moved on. We roamed the streets..then Omar thought it would be a great idea to hit up some clubs in Ensenada.

We are driving around Ensenada, and we feel like we have violated every single traffic law in mexico. Everything just FELT illegal. Not all the corners had stop lights. Merging on the highway was non existant and you had to get in where you fit in. We were so anxious and so upset, we decided to head back to Tijuana...and go back to the house.

So as were traveled, I guess we didn't notice the toll road or something...but there was a toll road, that was closed..and we couldn't get around it due to the 30 ft hills on either side. We couldn't get to the house, and our only option was to get a hotel room.

To be continued......

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