Ok, so I left off at leaving for the summer to visit my family in california. To make a long story short- came back from summer vacation to find my mother engaged, we were moving to germany and she was pregnant again. I became a pre-teen who ran away a few times before being shipped off to my aunt, instead of therapy...blah blah blah.
I've decided I don't want to go through the whole story. I realize talking about your past and venting about how upset you are about it does help, but I can't bring myself to talk about it, on this platform.
What I will tell you is I would never EVER treat my daughter the way my mother has treated me and my middle sister. I will never have a relationship with my mother ( and please don't give me the one day...it's still your mom...and all that jazz). Yes, I'm serious, I don't desire a relationship with my mother. I wish I had a mother/daughter relationship- but not with her. Harsh? Maybe. Cold? Possibly..but it's how I feel and it's how I've felt for the last 3 years. Some people are toxic, and it doesn't matter who they are....they aren't good for your well being.
So with that...I bid you adieu, and have yourself a wonderful weekend =)
I think it's hard to talk about these sorts of hurts in a public forum like a blog... I know there are certain things I wish I could bring myself to share on my blog about my family and my upbringing that I'm not particularly happy about... but I just can't bring myself to do it.
ReplyDeleteAt some point I know I will, but I kept getting emotional about it which was a surprise for me. For the longest, I've said I'm ok...I'm alright! But when it comes to actually reading text that I have typed...I feel completely different. I'm not ok with it, and it's not alright. *le sigh* One day....one day. LOL
DeleteMorgan, I feel the same way somtimes. I don't have a relationship w/ my Mom and it bothers but, I pray and try to live my life the best I can b/c I know I tried. In my eyes that's all that matters. I luv ya girlie and I'm here if u ever need to talk(:
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