Friday, June 1, 2012

Why I Should Have Been Born A Gypsy.....

I'm not sure what the deal is with my maternal family, but I can't say anyone of them has lived in one place for more than 10-15 years. Which could explain why I always feel the need to get a move on after a certain amount of time. I never do, because I have a child...but if it were just me, I'm sure I'd probably never really 'SETTLE' anywhere. I say I should have been born a gypsy, because all of the signs ( according to me) are there:

- I love Bohemian looking shit! Large gaudy rings & earrings, Baja hoodies paired with a ton of golden bracelets, long maxi dresses with ethnic prints, fancy pashminas, and long skirts that flow with every move.

- I've always wanted a pimped out motor home. Yes, yes...I realize that most Gypsies don't own pimped out, tour bus styled motor homes...but if I had one, that bitch would definitely have pom-poms on the dash and would smell like bundles of sage and essential oils and whatnot.

- I love men that have that dark, mysterious Johnny Depp look. Long hair, a beard or sweet ass goatee. Maybe a Connoisseur or Gringo mustache and maybe a pork chop side burn or two ( he better have two). He also must play some sort of sweet ass instrument- a harmonica, definitely a Spanish guitar, and Banjo is acceptable.

- I have a sick ass switch blade my grandpa gave me when I was 13..Sure, I know that's not an ideal gift a grandpa gives to his granddaughter, but he wasn't an ideal man. Traditional gypsy women looked like they would cut someone's nuts off for trying to pull a fast one on a member of their caravan. Like, honest. They always seem too look like they can kick Chuck Norris' ass in a street fight.

I could go on about how awesome of a gypsy I could be, but I'm pretty sure I'm generalizing and believing the hollywood image of a gypsy. I'm also sure there is a possibility there is a real gypsy reading this and they want to kick my ass. I mean no harm, I just think they're pretty fucking dope.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed reading this. I too am a young mom, always wistfully imagining what my life would be like if I could just follow my inner gypsy...