Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The BUM Identity

Just for the sake of his own privacy, We will call him Seymore Butts. Because he’s a fucking buttface for lying about something so dumb.

So, I met this guy April 2011. I’ve only seen twice up to this point, but we have been in contact with each other every day since then.We have both even talked about being an item, but due to certain circumstance ( 1 being I moved to another state to continue my education and he now lives in another state for work purposes) it just isn’t possible.

I began to get suspicious when we were talking about tattoos, and I couldn’t remember how many he said he had. He told me, I remembered…then he mentioned one on his stomach which I didn’ t remember. I asked him what it said, he said ‘Makaveli’ as in the Tupac album…not the real Niccolo Machiavelli.I just thought ‘ Ok, he really loves Tupac’ . …but it was still weird. But then,after talking to him about some family issues…I realized I didn’t really know that much about him as I thought. He hardly talked about his the point were I think he has never told me their names. Then,I just feel like I’m still in the dark about some other stuff. So, with all this mystery + the ‘Makaveli’ Tat, I thought…maybe he’s just trying to escape something…maybe he had a dark period and wants to start with a clean slate…he still doesn’t really KNOW me since we haven’t spent time together and doesn’t feel comfortable telling me.

Blah blah blah…countdown to yesterday.I was doing a reverse phone lookup to indentify some unidentified cell phone calls I received. Something told me- do a reverse look up on his email address. I found it weird that only his first name was displayed on his personal email….never thought of it before, but now it bothered me.I type it in one of those people search sites and BAM! Seymore Butts was now all of a sudden named Seymore Ass. Same first name…completely different last name.Looked up his old address,.. BAM previous tenant- Seymore Ass…NOT BUTTS!!!

7/30/2012 – I receive the usual Good Morning message from Seymore, and he asked me how I slept. Told him I slept great outside to the weird dream I ‘had’. I lied, I cant even remember my dream. Anyway, I told him I had a weird dream that everyone was lying to me about who they are. The environment I was living in wasn’t familiar and someone I thought I was close to, lied to me about their name and where they were from and everything about them. That was at 8am. Normally he calls me during lunch or texts me….I haven’t heard back yet. I guess my fake ‘dream’ has him scurred. Lying ass coward. He was probably a fucking serial killer anyway.


  1. That last line.. LOL.. priceless.

    It's obvious that he is hiding something or maybe he wants a clean slate as you mentioned. I still think they he should have mentioned something or revealed some intricate detail about his life. I wouldn't be surprised if he's married with a family. I've been there. -_-

    1. He probably is married. The always get us with ' Ohh, I'm mysterious' & sexy *insert Edward Cullen Misty eyed, mysterious look here*

      Just tell the truth!!!! That is all. lol